“Big Boy”

A lesson I learned rather quickly since joining an online dating site is that lack of sex and impedes men’s judgement on what is an appropriate vs what is an inappropriate thing to say to a woman to get her to go on a date with you.

Now, I am completely aware that there are many women on these sites who take “selfies”  while wearing low-cut dresses, doing the duck face and making a suggestive pose in the mirror and use this as their profile picture.  Basically, they’re clearly advertising their goods…  My profile picture is on the other spectrum of conservatism:  I had my sister take a picture of me in a black turtleneck at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, OK?…. got a problem with that?!  (in my defense, you can’t tell I’m at Disney and I was totally rocking that turtleneck.)

My point here is not to judge which picture is right or which one is wrong.  What I’m saying is that each makes a statement about the women they depict and what these women want out of being on the site.   And, to be honest, it doesn’t take a genius to figure this stuff out.  Unfortunately, some men are so desperate, sex deprived and/ or cocky, they lose their ability to judge which kind of woman is which and make some pretty poor choices.

Below you will find my profile pic (I TOLD you I rocked that turtleneck!) followed by an email commentary made by some middle-aged butt hole… (I copy and pasted it, typos and all)

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Middle-aged butt hole:

“Wow! one hot woman. def got my BIG BOY a goin over here . lol 🙂 Wes you look GREAT!”

My response email to the middle-aged butt hole:

“Got your big boy a goin”?   Really?….

No woman of value is going to respond well to perverted comments like that. Barking up the wrong tree buddy.

(P.S. I contemplated ignoring the email completely but I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut…)

January 4th: Personal Record and Injury Free!

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Today I am grateful for having broken my personal record at the Sunshine State West Palm Beach 1/2 Marathon without injury.  As you may remember, I have set a goal to beat my race times by one minute each race this season.  I have surprised myself by actually beating my PRs by 2 minutes for the past two races.  Today, I beat my last race time of 2:10:31 by 2m 31sec.  I passed the finish line as the race clock ticked at exactly 2:08:00.

I am so incredibly proud of myself and, to be honest, have never been more emotional at a race… Not even my Full in 2009.  I prayed last night, and throughout the race, that the muscle in the back of my left thigh wouldn’t seize up on me as it did last March during the Coral Springs 1/2 that I ran with my sister.  It was very painful and forced me to hobble past the finish and take about a month off of running afterwards.

This past week, the same muscle has been tight and achey and I have been panicking to myself about it because I have been training so hard and looking forward so much to possibly getting a personal record at this race.  It started to get a little sore and tight around mile 8 but I decided that “I’m not going to think, I’m not going to feel, I’m just going to fricken’ do it” … And I did! 🙂

January 3rd: My Goals

Today, I am grateful for the ability to make and achieve my goals.  Tomorrow I have yet another race.  I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from my friends and family who know how much it would mean to me to p.r. (get a personal record). Whether I do or I don’t, I’m just excited to try… 🙂

Are… You… Serious…?

OK, so… I’ve rejoined the on-line dating world and it doesn’t cease to amaze me.  It is SO bizarre, in fact, that I have decided to share it with you for a number reasons.

Reason #1: If you are not currently a member of an on-line dating site because you are either dating or married to someone, realizing how f%$#ing nuts people are out there will make you more greatly appreciate your partner.  So, in essence, in telling you this I’m actually bringing you guys closer together…. You’re welcome 🙂

Reason #2:  I feel that it is my social obligation to make you all aware of how sick single men and women really are when they are given a forum through which to freely express their perversions… Oh, NO… they would never tell you how whacked out of their minds they are if they met you in person on the street or in a bar but… give them free feign to create an on-line profile and all hell breaks loose.  

Reason #3:  This sh*& just makes me laugh

Without further ado.. here is a profile description (I can’t make this up, I SWEAR) of an individual that the online site I belong to has decided would be a good “match” for me…. WOW, I’m at a loss for words…

“Hello, my sweet, I have good news! I’m in the mood to shop for shoes! You say you can’t afford another pair? Don’t fret, my dear, I’m a millionaire. You say your closet has reached its max? You can have one of mine – just relax.

Come with me, on our fairy tale! Let’s go to my yacht, ’cause you really hoist my sail. It drives me wild that you’re so elastic. And, I’ve got the money if you want some plastic! If that’s not your thing, don’t you panic. I also love all-natural – I love organic. I like my women like I like my cake: warm and moist and easy to make. Let’s go to my farm and into the stable.

Let’s go for a ride, if you’re willing and able. We can go bareback or with a saddle. It doesn’t matter which…for a beast you will straddle. Flats and pumps and stilettos and more! Anything for you; I love you to the core! Cha-ching! My money is now gone. Now, let me grab your ankles and slip you on.”

Gratitude: January 1st and January 2nd 2014

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2013 has not been the easiest… It began with inspiration, hope and promise but turned to heartbreak and disappointment towards the end.  But you know what?… It wasn’t the worst year ever either… I’ve done some amazing races and met some goals I never though possible.  I saw 2 of the 7 Wonders of the Modern World (Machu Picchu and Chichen Itza) and my family is in good health and we’re all together!

During my two weeks off from school, I’ve spent some much needed time resting and thinking and have processed everything that has occurred.  This is all I can say:

1.  I am proud to be the kind of strong woman who remains positive and has belief that things can be better despite everything I went through in 2012.

2.  I have finally realized that the BEST things that have ever happened to me have been those that have so effortlessly fallen into my lap that I felt almost guilty about having them because it was though I hadn’t “earned” them… In turn, the WORST things that have happened to me have been the result of me trying to fruitlessly and painfully force a square peg into a round hole…

3.  I am pretty awesome and am not going to waste time hanging out with people who don’t agree 🙂  Because, if I love you… I think you’re pretty awesome too.

4.  I am surrounded by the most beautiful group of loving friends and family in the Universe.  I am proud of this because I have fostered (and continued to foster) these relationships.

I’ve decided to dedicate a few minutes of my day, EVERY DAY this year to think about what I am grateful for and log it on this blog.  The first few days of this year I have spent time running, hanging out at the beach and thinking about all that I am thankful for…  and here’s what I’ve come up with:

Jan. 1st:  I’m grateful for my health and my body’s ability to run.  I had a great 4 mile run with a new group and met up with a friend I haven’t really connected with much and had a wonderful time!

Jan. 2nd: I’m grateful for the gorgeous sunshine that finally came out today and allowed me to spend some time at the beach.  I have been coming to this same spot on the same beach since I was a little girl and it doesn’t get old….

Tap and Run Orlando 2013!

So, we joined the “over the hill” costume category at the Orlando Tap and Run 2013!

Check out our amazing costumes!

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Amazing!! We had fellow runners take photos of us and with us! …..

Here’s how we did it: moomoos from thrift store, foam rollers, shower caps and glasses from dollar store, saggy boobs are loofas we safety pinned to our sports bras…. Fun times!

Crazy Costumes and Holiday Traditions

My sister and I have created several traditions for ourselves around the holiday season. The newest of these is running a Christmas themed 5k in full costume (do you see a theme here? Lol). Last year, I went up to visit her in Orlando and we ran Mickey’s Jingle Jungle 5K at Animal Kingdom dressed as reindeer. Our costumes, I must say, were pretty impressive and we had more than a few fellow racers ask to take photos with us!

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This year, the pressure was on to top our previous awesomeness! The solution: Sexy Mrs. Clause!
Check out our photos from this morning’s Reindeer Run 5k at Seaworld, Orlando!

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But this isn’t the only costume race we’re doing today…. This afternoon we’re doing a “Tap and Run” with some pretty epic costumes….. Stay tuned for the hilarity!

Creative Inspiration: My Mom xoxo

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(Mom and I making cookies at her place)

My parents were pretty strict with us. By some people’s measure, it could be said that they were down-right controlling. There wasn’t a whole lot of wiggle-room for personal preference when it came to how we dressed or how clean we kept our rooms. There were some pretty clear guidelines on the types of grades we needed to get in school and the kind of company we could keep as well. This was, of course, their attempt to keep us on the straight and narrow. And for all intended purposes, it worked. Both my sister and I are educated, reasonably successful and law-abiding citizens.

That being said, however, when it came to us expressing our creativity through artistic projects, they made sure that our universe was limitless. We were not only given free rein to do almost anything, but were encouraged to do so. This was freedom…this is how we shined.

Thinking back on it as an adult, I question whether or not I would allow my own kids to do the sorts of projects I did independently… I remember sewing my dolls clothes with my mom’s Singer and baking cookies on my own while she cleaned the house. I also remember sitting at the work bench in the garage for hours creating who-knows-what with bits of wood, paint and a very hot glue gun without any type of supervision. I am happy to report that I still have all 10 fingers and am free of any permanent burn marks or scars but… I wouldn’t risk it with my own kids if I were to ever have any. (OK, ok, so “who’s the control freak now?” I get it… )

Ever since I can remember, my mom has been the queen of creativity. When my sister and I were little, she made toys for us out of felt, sewed us dresses and Halloween costumes, baked us cupcakes to take to our friends at school, pickled the vegetables she had grown in our backyard, crocheted us afghans, hats and scarves and prepared the most comforting dinners… all while looking stunningly beautiful in her totally 80’s blue eye shadow and awesome permed hair-do, of course.

As if having the most beautiful, loving, culinarily-talented and crafty mom in the whole universe wasn’t good enough, she was a willing teacher as well. The best part was that, although she was teaching me a skill she had already mastered, most of the things I remember us doing together were experimental to her. Although she knew how to crochet, the stitch was new to her. Although she was a great cook, the cake or cookie recipe was new to her. Although she was a great seamstress, the pattern was new to her. Seeing my mother giggle at her own mistakes and curiously try different ways to create something always filled me with wonder and the desire to do the same.

The projects were inspired by us and she inspired us by making them with us. What could be a better life lesson or expression of love?

Now that I work at a school and have lots of little munchkins to make things for (and with), I find myself newly inspired to experiment myself. Popcorn “witch hands” for Halloween, pumpkin muffins, “Kindness Quilts”, quirky bulletin boards and decorative cupcakes… I could create an infinite list of projects I’d like to try and I’ll always wonder if I’m having more fun than they are while we work on them together.

Who taught you the value of creativity? Who inspires you now? What new projects are you working on? Please share!!

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Peaches and Creame

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Peaches and Cream:

This is yet another extremely easy holiday dessert in my repertoire.  It is so easy, in fact, that I don’t like to tell people how to make it so that they still believe me to be more amazing than I really am in the kitchen!  It boasts only 4 simple ingredients and is so delicious, I have NEVER had any left-overs when I bring it to gatherings.

Ingredients:

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1 block of cream cheese brought to room temperature

1 can of sweetened condensed milk

1 package of lady fingers

1 large can of quartered or halved peaches in heavy syrup

Directions:

Let it sit over night in the fridge so that lady fingers soften and flavors meld… absolutely divine!

Spinach Balls with Pine nuts

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Spinach Balls:
These are a delicious (but due to the high butter and bread content, not so nutritious) appetizer for any party.  We usually serve these along-side bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, a big ol’ plate of stinky cheeses with French bread, olives, charcuterie and other similarly amazing things that fill you up before you even sit down for the main show.
We’ve been making these for years.  The recipe was originally given to us by my Aunt Lynne who swears she doesn’t remember where she got it from.  Possibly a newspaper clipping or an index card from a relative… regardless the source, they’re great. 
The original recipe didn’t include pine nuts.  This is a little Mediterranean spin my mom added but has become an integral part of the recipe ever since.  Trust me, you NEED the nutty crunch it adds.
Ingredients:
2 boxes of frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed of all its moisture
3 cups of herbed stuffing
6 eggs
1 tsp garlic powder
1 small chopped onion (half a regular sized onion)
1 1/2 sticks of melted butter (3/4 cup)
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1/2 cup pinenuts
If butter is unsalted, add about 1 tsp of salt.  Omit if using salted butter.
Directions:
Mix all ingredients together and roll into walnut sized balls and place on a foil lined sheet.
bake at 350 for about 20 minutes or until golden brown.
At this point you can either serve or freeze for later use.
Simply thaw out the day of your party and heat through.  Delish!!